the day my life is torn...

in memory of....

JOHN DAVID M. MANLISES

Feb 15, 1980 - July 14, 2002

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(excerpts from E! life story, 2002) 

 ... thundering clouds awaken me in the middle of mah sleep.. i tried to sleep again but i have this anxious feeling deep within me... i was guessing that it was just the feeling of excitement that kicks in as i know that i'll be visiting him that day... though i tried to stay calm for the rest of the night, there was this moment that bugs me that i just cant get back to sleep....

by morning, though i felt tired, my adrenalin is at utmost high because again, i'll be with him... i just cant thank the Lord that he's finally getting well and will be back home in few days...

on my way, i bought him the latest craze in town, the summit flavoured water... that was what i promised him the last time we've talked....

in the jeepney ride, i suddenly felt some discomfort... it seems that something bothers me and i can't reckon what... as soon as i arrived in the hospital, i felt that i was just dragging mah self... mah footsteps became heavy... mah heart pounded fast.... and then out of nowhere am having cold sweats...

in the elevator, it seems that the ride to the 6th floor took years... when i stepped out, mah phone vibrates... i looked at it and it was a message from my bestfriend's sister...

then i asked mahself, "why would she message me?"...

in that moment mah hands trembles and mah heart pounded much faster... then i felt to weak to open the message...

i summoned all the happy thoughts i can think of that time to built courage within me.... to make me believe that it was just a normal message...

then it reads.... "kuya passed away last night..."

the feeling of world crumbling in mah shoulder felt upon me as i dropped the bottle i carried and i just felt mah whole strength totally gone... i succumbs in the abyss of agony and the hurt within me was unbearable....

the pain made mah body numb and i just cant find the right words to say...

i cant believe that he was gone...

mah bestfriend, mah partner, mah brother... 

now gone...

a very sad moment when God finally decided to take what was ours for a while and will always be His forever...